Horrorscopes
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Dec 22-Jan 19
The Celestial Parsnip

Jan 20-Feb 17
The Cow of Heaven

Feb 18-Mar 19
Wezen the Double- Headed Kangaroo

Mar 20-Apr 19
Gahoolie the Vase of Tulips

Apr 20-May 20
The Knotted String

May 21-Jun 20
Two Fat Cousins

Jun 21-Jul 22
Mubbo the Heyena

Jul 23-Aug 22
The Flying Moose

Aug 23-Sep 22
The Suggestive Gibbon

Sep 23-Oct 22
The Perhaps Gate

Oct 23-Nov 21
The Small Boring Group of Faint Stars

Nov 22-Dec 21
Okjok the Salesman

Horrorscope Front Page

Jun 21-Jul 22
Mubbo the Heyena

Although life seems good you must beware the strong possibility that you may meet bad fortune in a plot device, possibly even spending your last paragraph in a humorous discussion woth the Grim Reaper.
Jul 23-Aug 22
The Flying Moose

The Gods smile upon you. Beware- it is probably because they know what is going to happen to you next and find it amusing. To them anyway.
Aug 23-Sep 22
The Suggestive Gibbon

You have a chance to find love very soon- be careful not to scare away your potential suitors by mentioning spiny mammals in song.